Molinard
I do not blame him anymoreЕ..He is likeЕ..Well, he wasЕЕHe was a part of my life for a whileЕЕI lived before I met him, I lived furtherЕЕ.Girls talks.
Talk 1.
- So? You wanted to tell me something? You look like very exitedЕ.Is it about a boy?
- A manЕ.
- A man?
- Oh dear, yes, it is about a man.
- Why man?
- If I would knowЕ.
- What man?
- My mother introduced usЕ.My mother took me for a lunch into a posh placeЕ.She said that now IТm sixteen and dare to be treated properly. I hate posh places, you knowЕ.But to say УNoФ to my motherЕ..And besides, place wasnТt that posh at all. My mother said it used to be her favourite in early times.
- Well, the place is probably worth trying, but you wonТt spend ages describing it, wonТt you?
- Oh, nonono. We just came in and maitre guided us to the table Ц it was an oval white wooden table by the glass wall. I could see both the lovely park on my left and the entrance to the room on my right. A fireplace litЕ.DonТt you find it hysteric when they lit fireplace while thereТs a daylight? AnywayЕ I had funny rabbit starter, then lovely chiken breast and then it was almost over, we had a wine bottle two thirds empty when he stepped in.
- The man?
- YeaЕ. He Е.brought a lightЕ. He looked around and saw my mother. My mother was telling me usual boring stuff and then saw me staring somewhereЕ..She stopped and turned to where I was looking at and saw him. УDavidЕ..Ф Ц she could only say. He approached us and said to my mother that he wouldnТt expect to see her here, that she has dissappeared so suddenly that day, that he still feels embarassed and has to tell herЕ. I concluded that my mother definetely wasnТt an angel most of the timeЕ My mother said like УJessica, meet my old friend Ц David MolinardФ. She wasnТt her usual, her voice trembled a bit and eyes were confused, like she was looking nowhereЕ
- Is he still that cool?
- Oh dearЕ..His eyesЕ..ThereТs a fire in his look, the fire, the energy Е..And his smileЕ..He spoke to my my mother like she was a little girl and smiled to me twiceЕ
- And so?
- And soЕ..I felt so strangeЕ..Like IТm fallingЕ.
- Falling? Where?
- I donТt knowЕ.Like all the sounds dissappeared and I only heard his voice and saw his sparkling eyesЕ.He gave his card to mom and said that would be pleased if they could get together sometimes, perhaps, for the drink or soЕ.
- Is he French?
- Oh yes, he is an artist, he lives in France but loves to come to London sometimes.
- And so?
- And so he left and my mother couldnТt restore speech for a while, still looking nowhere behind meЕ.I asked her who it was, but she didnТt reply, just suddenly shragged and said that we should better go.
- So who was he?
- Mom said he used to be her friend, and then added that men are all animals and he especially. I wonТt ask furtherЕ..Do you think IТm in love?
- Why?
- I feel so strangeЕ. IТm kinda canТt think of anything elseЕ.I think of him and I desperately want to see him again. I want to hear his voice, I want him to smile, to tell me stories, jokesЕ..AndЕЕ
- And what?
- I donТt know. I feel like IТm getting mad. As the phone rings I rush Ц I feel like it might be him Ц of course it is not, butЕ And as I walk the streets I look the faces Ц they all seem so brutally dead. What should I do?
- Nothing. Seems that love caught you, or you caught loveЕ.Happens. It will soon pass probably, love needs fuel to maintain the flame, and since you donТt see him Ц how could it resist any longer?
- I donТt know. But I never felt like this. BoysЕ..They all seem to be looking at me asЕ.yes, as animalsЕ.Those sticky looksЕAnd a speech, oh my God, this mindless crapЕDo they all go to stupid speech cources? I canТt bearЕ.
- But boys are real, and he is a phantomЕ.
- Well, I could see himЕ..He lives in France, I know his name, his an artistЕ.Do you think itТs stupid to want to see him? If I go to France, I wanted anywayЕ.
- Well, going to France is always a good idea, at least for us, Brits. If you just go to France, you may only go to France. You do not necessarily go to France because he is French. DonТt you ? There definetely must be something else to seeЕ This Effel tower, for example. And there definetely must be good quality croissants in France. So the reasons to go to France there areЕ.I would go if I would youЕ.
- So decided Ц I go to FranceЕ..France!
- Be careful, there might be French boys in thereЕ.. Or menЕ..
- Do you think this is love?
- You keep asking me the same questionЕЕ
- Well, I heard so much about love, I dreamed about it, IТve imagined it, I thought that love would come to me one day. And so this day came, I believe, it came. I feel so different, like IТve got what I deserve, I found a soul that would complete mine, that would make me fly over the blur of days, those moments of loneliness, when I feel depressed and miserable. How could I feel bad now, I have him to think about, to imagine him taking my hand, kissing me, embracing me,
Talk 2
- You wouldnТt believe itЕ.You wouldnТt.
- You met him, yeah?
- Met? I found him, I called him, and I saw him!
- ThatТs it?
- Oh silly!ЕOf course not. You want details, I guessЕ.
- DependsЕ. You wonТt give me the size of Paris pigeons population, wonТt you?
- Well, I was in Paris. Effel tower is, well, tall, but quite a bizzarre thing when approached closelyЕ.And those liftsЕ..Anyway. I spent few days whith my group Ц you know, they had whole programm arranged. I hate tribal behaviour. And so I didnТt have a chance to get any closer to him. IТve almost gave up, but the day before departure the concierge asked why I looked more and more upset every day. He guessed that probably I was dissappointed by Paris which is quite unusual. I Сve said that I want to phone to a friend, and I only know his name, and I wanted to see him, but we leave tomorrow and so on. He asked me the name and when we got back in evening, he gave me the number. So I called.
- I believe he was quite surprised?
- Yes, he was. He said that obviously remembers me, and that he liked me from the first meeting, and that he wanted to talk to mom and me but sircumstances were discouraging, but he would be pleased to see me the day after, if I wouldnТt mind.
- The day of departure?
- Well we were due to leave at 3 pm, and we had free time before that, so I said ok, and we met at the bistro near hotel at 10. It was fantastic. He was tender, sweet, his talk was so relaxed and charming, and his voiceЕ..I felt mad. We spent couple of hours together, then he left and I felt like never before, like the whole world was looking at me and was smiling at me. Paris seemed to be full of love, harmony, happinessЕ.
- Well, Paris is usually full of love and happiness, at least as they say in travel guides. So what now?
- Well, I call him every dayЕ..
- You jokingЕ..
- No, not at all, I donТt want mom to know anything about that, she wouldnТt approve me being phoned by an animal, so we decided that IТd ring anytime I want.
- We?
- Well, that was a decision that we made togetherЕ..WhatТs wrong about it?
- When УweФ substitutes УmeФ and УhimФ Ц thatТs the sign.
- Of what?
- Of everything. Of a pair. Do you realise what you are doing?
- WhatЕ.. I love this man, I never loved in my life, so I donТt have anything to compare with, but I just feel it more and moreЕ.. I even see him in my dreamsЕ..
- OftenЕЕ
- Every night. He kisses meЕ..He embrases meЕ.And, we make love.
- But you donТt know how to make love, IТm afraidЕ.
- Well, I imagine it. And I can feel it. It feels soooo good, so sweet, like the waves of pleasure run again and again, reaching every single corner of my body, like my whole body starts shining and singing, like I feel unbearably light and my body flies to heaven, and I reach the skies and I melt into white and rose clouds, and it feels so warmЕ..
- Oh dearЕЕ.WellЕЕ.You knowЕЕWe all have dreams from time to time ЕЕ. I doЕ..But nothing like thatЕ.. Is he married?
- No. He says he is divorced. Oh God, why you are so kind to me? Why it all is so perfect? IТm just sixteen, and the first real man I meet is just so gorgeous, and he loves me, and we should be together and my life will be all so perfect, so happy, so fineЕ.I just canТt believe it. Why me?
- You wanted itЕЕ.You got itЕ
- Oh Joan, I just donТt believe it.
- I believeЕ..You lucky.
Talk 3
- Yesss! I canТt wait to tell you, it happened!
- What?
- IТm a woman.
- Oh dearЕ.You arenТt a pregnant woman yet, I believeЕ.
- No sillyЕ..How can youЕ..
- If there is something you want to tell me then tell meЕ.
Talk 4
- Bastard. Horrible miserable act of hell, idiot, bastard, fucking asshole,shitЕ.shitЕЕshitЕ>..fuckЕЕЕIТm stupidЕgirlЕ..stupidЕЕ.
- Wow,wow, stop the waters, dearЕ.Are you here? Jessica? Jess! Talk to meЕ..DonТt cry, please, oh no, pleaseЕЕ Ok, cryЕЕ. cry, dearЕЕ. It helpsЕЕ.
Talk 5
- Heard the news? Plane crash, DavidТs house?
- I donТt careЕ.Asshole. Can we talk of something else?
- I thoughtЕ..well, if you donТt wantЕ..
- This miserable piece of shit has ruined my lifeЕ.Look at meЕ..IТm a whore!ЕЕ..I fuck everyone I see, I fuck neighbours, plummers, I fuck policemen, I go to worst dirtiest places and I fuck junkies, I Сm just who I am Ц a whore, a whole for any dirty dick around, a whoreЕIТm a whoreЕ..
- Jess, may I ask you something?
- Ask, no matterЕЕ
- Do you hate yourself?
- Oh, do I hate myself? I hate the whole worldЕThe world, the peopleЕ..the plummers, the country, the weatherЕthe mirrorЕ..I donТt want to live in this shitty fucking world of assholes, bloody bastards, hellЕЕЕ.I hateЕЕ.hateЕЕ.hateЕЕЕ
- Jess, oh dearЕ..
- Why I suffer that hard, whyЕЕЕ.
- Jess, talk to me, pleaseЕ..JessЕ..
Talk 6
- Hi dear, so how are you?
- Not bad, not bad. You look gorgeous dear, this haircut, I imagine this is what a trendy haircut should beЕЕ
- Japan. TheyТre absolutely crazy, the whole country is of totally free expression, whatever you have to expressЕ.
- Staying here for ?Е..
- For a month or so. Jim has still things to fix there, he comes later and weТll leave for ItalyЕЕ
- How is he?
- Oh heТs fineЕ.His business is so interesting, he would probably be promoted to chief of laboratoryЕ..I would never believe that plastic could be so exiting. Still, he finds plastic the most facinating thing in the world. They experiment with new materials, he is always writing formulas, formulas, everywhere. He once wrote a formula on the mirror in our bathroom. And it was my bloody expensive lipstick.
- He does have sense of humorЕЕ
- No, he doesnТtЕЕAbsolutelyЕЕHe doesnТt have a sense of food, of weekend, of cinema, of friends, of music, of sexЕЕHe has a sense of plastic, and it seems to be self contained world, seemsЕЕ.He says plastics are living things, he call them names, his favourite is JenniferЕ..
- What about her?
- He says Jennifer is the most mild and gentle caracter he has ever met in his life, she is a bit naпve, too much innocent and heТs afraid that she could get into the wrong company. She is so young, pureЕ.
- And we are talking about a plastic?
- No, we talk about polymereЕ..He gets so angry when I say a word plasticЕ..He says that polymere is a polymere, and ABS is an ABS, kevlar is a kevlar, and that the person calling them all a single word УplasticФ is ignorant and primitiveЕ.His worst fear is the day when Jennifer will be finished and marketing would call it a УcommercialФ nameЕ.
- But he is a good caring husbandЕ.
- Oh yesЕЕЕHe isЕЕ.He is a good caring husbandЕЕAnd IТm good caring wifeЕЕ.And we have good caring homeЕЕЕЕЕAnd lovely bathroomЕЕ.And I spent all our money for what I wantЕЕ..And I feel superhappy womanЕЕ..And I feel a good lovely plastic dollЕЕЕA BarbieЕЕЕЕA BatmanТs girlfriendЕЕЕЕStupid smile happy plastic toyЕЕЕ.I donТt live Joan, I do not even existЕЕ
- Well, that is what you wantedЕ.You wanted good caring husband, money, live outside Europe, whole new lifeЕ..YouТve got whole new lifeЕЕYou always had what you wanted.
- What do you mean?
- David is in prisonЕ..
- What?
- Yes, one of his boys models accused him in sexual abuseЕЕWe would never know, if it was true, but he is in prison. The man is definetely paying it backЕ Friends denied him, his family is dead, he has lost allЕЕ. The only thing he lives for is to probably see you one day, to say sorry, to kiss your shoeЕ.
- Oh, donТt be pathetic, you, missis Wisdom.
- I am not. Here is his letter to you. I got it with his note. He is in pain.
- Letter? What the hell I careЕЕ.DavidЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ>ЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ
- You want the letter?
- Yes, but IТll read it right here, straight awayЕ..
ЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕ..
- Jess? Would you like some tea?
- Have you got any vodka dear?
- I do, you want it with orange juice orЕ.
- StraightЕЕ.. Whooh!ЕЕЕ.
- What is he saying?
- УMy dear JessicaФ Ц very formal, isnТt he.- УMy dear Jessica. My days are not so exiting, IТm afraid. IТm here where I am, and where IТm probably have to be. I have a lot of time here, days are endless, but nothing can disturb my thoughts. The first days were awfull, I thought I Сll became insane. Then I got used to my solitude, and thoughts started to visit my mindФ. Ц Bloody asshole, thoughts started to visit his head! Incredible!
Talk 7
- Well, Joan, two news.
- Let me guess, good one and bad oneЕ.
- Bingo. The mess is all around. The mess.
- Are you in love with French artist somehow or what?
- David gets out of prison next Friday.
- I suppose thatТs the good one.
- Yes. And my mother died.
- OopsЕ.WellЕ
- Before she died I visited her in hospital.
- Good girlЕЕ
- She said David is my fatherЕ.
- Oh dearЕЕЕ.
- Oh dearЕЕ Bit messy, isnТt it?
- It isЕЕAre we watching TV or whatЕ..
- No, IТm afraid not.
- So letТs watch TV.
- What?
- I said letТs watch TVЕ..
- Well, you knowЕЕ.you know what?
- What?
- LetТs fucking go watch fucking TV!
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